But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate. About three things I was absolutely certain. After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!-Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. The Harvard Lampoon takes on Twilight, with hilarious results. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls.

'You,' he said stiffly, the words flowing straight from some primordial, bossy wordbank. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. To the point of domination.' 'Okay, okay.' He took a deep breath and pointed at me.

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon's hilarious send-up of Twilight. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behaviour, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the hysterical tale of a.

Nightlight harvard lampoon